And it makes insistence by parents that they’re giving each of their kids equal treatment ring hollow. At any given moment, it may be true that one child is getting more attention or resources than the other(s). This is a tricky situation for parents because it’s very difficult to treat children completely equally at all times and in every situation. And so, they’re often on the lookout for ways in which their sibling is receiving better treatment than they are. It’s natural for kids to wonder if they’re more loved or favored than their siblings. Likewise, negative comparisons, or telling a failing child they aren’t doing as good a job as their sibling, can damage the downtrodden child’s self-esteem and make them view their sibling as the cause. Meanwhile, the child not receiving the praise in that moment may become jealous of the one who is. While sharing a positive comparison with a child may seem harmless, especially if you praise the other child in other ways, it can create an environment where the child receiving the praise now has vested interest in making sure the other child doesn’t take his or her prized spot. One common thing parents do is compare their children in either favorable or unfavorable ways.įor example, a parent may say that one child is better than the other at cleaning his room, or is more studious or more creative.
Here’s what parents need to avoid: Comparing siblings either favorably or unfavorably
While it may appear that our children simply don’t like each other or were born to fight, there are a few things parents unknowingly do that creates tension in their childrens’ relationship. One key theme in the book Siblings Without Rivalry is that parents actually play a large role in how children perceive each other and whether or not they get along. First, consider your influence over sibling relationships
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